such great heights

heragain.tumblr.com

ever since i started a media blog on tumblr about a month ago i've been less inclined to post videos and music here. the over-posting of media materials is somewhat of a trap i tend to fall into, being that i'm such a musical cratedigger and trawler of youtube for tidbits and what not i can share with my readers. now that my urge is being satisfied elsewhere and this space can be used for what i intended it to be for, the question still remains a classic one: what do i write about?

every day i make a paper list of stuff i think it would be cool to write online about but 90% of the time i never use that list. i wonder why i still do it. sometimes i end up doodling on that paper, or making small dots on the back of it and connecting them in endless constellations. sometimes i search old notebooks for topics but that's not too effective either. so most of the time i stay clueless and just write something. babble, blither, blah. at least it's out there.

i'm watching something on the national geographic channel about people digging up bodies in a cemetery in the phillipines. it's kinda gross but then again i'm intrigued by this guy actually sticking bones in a sack to make room for more dead people. in my mom's culture (cherokee) to touch or even speak of a dead person after they die is to curse your soul to forever wander as a ghost. another thing we used to do is open the windows of the house after a person dies (whether or not they died there was irrelevant) for four days, to allow their "spirit" to escape. i could go on and on about growing up with these really weird superstitions but i'm too engrossed in this tv program to continue...

all of the mascara i currently own.

(i'm bored so i'll go through my mascaras. all non-mascara whores/lovers shouldn't read any further. i'll start from the left.......................)

NOTE: before i start i should tell you my biases: i tend to be partial to volume mascaras, and lean more toward maybelline formulas. i have medium-length lashes and don't go too much for length, because i don't really need it. team va-va-va volume!

1. shiseido the makeup mascara base. this primer makes drug store formulas look amazing. with this stuff, you really don't need chanel or diorshow (unless you really want to spend that kind of $$). i also like the fact that it's clear (not white) and you don't have to worry about "covering" the white on your lashes with color. every now and then you have to wipe it down with a cloth because it gets a little gunky but without this stuff i'd be totally lost. (5/5)

2. lumene blueberry curl mascara. i found this little gem at CVS for $7. doesn't smell like blueberries, but this brand is made in finland and has a really unique kinda plastic bristle design. gives amazing volume and holds a curl. yesss! (5/5)

3. maybelline full n soft, very black. i've been using this off and on for about 2 years now. i like the brush and the formula does make the lashes soft. sometimes smudges though, even with a primer. (3/5)

4. maybelline full n soft waterproof, very black. this is pretty much my go-to waterproof mascara. stays put all day and in water and doesn't smudge, separates and thickens each lash. if i could buy a hundred of these i would. (5/5)

5. l'oreal featherlash in black. everyone raves about how good this mascara is and it's always sold out at the Ulta closest to my house. i found the formula to be extremely thin and runny. doesn't smudge or anything but feels strange to put on, almost like a comb or something. blah. (2/5)

6. maybelline the colossal volum express in glam back. current fave, and the one i reach for the most often. smells really funny (like rotten chemical flowers) but dissipates after a few minutes of putting it on. feels great on my lashes and stays all day. i wish they'd fix the scent though. its not bad enough to put me off from using and liking it but it's a bit distracting. (5/5)

7. maybelline XXL mascara in soft black. one of those multi-purpose deals (primer at one end, color at the other). all in all, it's OK. nothing big or fancy to write home about. does hold up to water fairly nicely. waiting to throw this out soon. (2/5)

8. maybelline XXL mascara in very black. sorta like its cousin on top. does leave the lashes soft, though i find this one to be a bit of a waste because you can find quite a few mascaras to do in 1 step what this one does in 2. sweet, but forgettable. (1/5)

9. cover girl lash blast in very black. i've gone through 2 tubes of this and even though i want to say i don't like it (i typically don't care for cover girl products) the truth is that i do like lash blast. used with my shiseido primer=porn star lashes. for that reason i can't stop buying it. (5/5)

10. cover girl lash exact in very black. this was my first experiment with plastic brush, when they came out about 2 years ago. at first i loved this stuff because it makes my lashes super-long (it's a lengthening mascara) but then i started not to like it because it seemed like every 4 weeks the stuff in the bottle would start drying out. by the 5th week it would be damn near worthless. to top that off it flakes like no tomorrow, even with primer. done. (1/5)

11. cover girl volume exact in very black. this creates a really dark, dramatic lash. great for night time and definitely better than the lash exact, as it doesn't dry out like the other does. i like it, but i like the colossal better than this. maybe it's the plastic bristles that seem really rough on my lashes. i dunno. i'll keep buying it though. just in case i get a date or something. hehe. (4/5)

i need to expand my mascara horizons. about 4 years ago i bought nothing but clinique mascaras, until i realized how much $$ i was wasting replacing them every 3 months. i've gone through the nothing-but-MAC phase as well, but most of them were too clumpy for my taste. i used a benefit mascara once and it took me 2 days to get it off. 

what mascara do you ladies use? i want to know!

When You Are Engulfed in Flames

David Sedaris

i've almost finished this book. it was ok. funny, at times kinda repetitive. not as good as some people have told me that "me talk pretty one day" was. i haven't read that book yet, so i'll have to catch onto that one later.

next up, "junky" by william s. burroughs:

Junky: The Definitive Text of Junk (50th Anniversary Edition)

William S. Burroughs

ever since i read "naked lunch" (if you call reading that weird foray into whateverland really reading) i've been dying to read some of his straight material. hopefully this will suffice.

i just realize today that i only have about 4 weeks until school starts back. i don't want to think about this. i reallyreally don't. i'll just shut my eyes and pretend that i never made that statement above.

the other night i had a dream that i was a mail-order bride. some guy must of saw my picture and kept writing me relentlessly and i eventually had to involve INTERPOL in his capture. then my picture was in the local paper and the same thing happened again.

i have really, really weird dreams, ya'll...

anywho, this wednesday has been fairly uneventful. there was a really bad thunderstorm early this morning and my dog ran up under my bed, shaking and whining. pitiful, moaning kinda sounds. i finally got up out of the bed and he follows me into the living room and proceeded to stare at me for 15 minutes. i put his collar on to walk him and he refuses (of course) to go out into the rain. so i brought him back inside and ate breakfast and prepared for a dental appointment for this afternoon. it was a regular cleaning and afterward i took jordan out for lunch and right now my gums hurt so bad i can't take a nap. i tried an ibuprofen but that doesn't help either. and the tiny masochist in me keeps clamping my teeth together just to feel the pain course again through my jaw. grind, grind, grind. ahhh!

i wanted to lay out at the pool this afternoon (it's all sunny now) but i left my bathing suit at my mom's house. she's supposed to mail it to me but i guess it won't get here until sometime on friday.

today is just not my day.

off to bed i go. to suffer some more.

{*sigh*}

ghostface shoulda won a pulitzer prize for this song...

everytime i hear this song i still get a little choked up, even though i didn't grow up poor (far from it) i love how this song goes beyond things like race, class, and genre...i don't think you really had to grow up poor to understand what Struggle is all about and being damn thankful that you survived on the other end. sometimes when i have a difficult day dealing with my kids at school i come home and play this song and try to think about some of the issues that they may be dealing with at home and try to be more understanding to them. such a beautiful moment in hip hop...

today i took myself to the movies to see "wanted." all in all, a good movie (miss jolie was orgasmic, as always, xoxoxoxo). i won't spoil it for you dahlings but i will say that it is really, really violent. a lot of up close camera shots of blood, bloody people, animals being blown up, shooting, bullets going through people's heads. think of the kill scenes from the movie "kill bill" and you get what i'm talking about. i personally like action movies so i was fair game, although a couple of ppl were such pussies about it that they got up and left the theater.

i also thought it was particularly interesting that the guy in front of me had his young son there, about jordan's age, 4 yrs old or so. he was quick to cover his son's eyes when the sex scenes were on but blood, guts, swearing, and killing brought none of the same swift reaction, the little boy sat there staring at the screen all throughout the movie. as a mother of a young child i don't even let jordan watch csi miami. a blood n guts movie? what is wrong with today's parents???? i'm not saying that a movie alone will cause a child to shoot up his high school but i do think that violence is totally inappropriate for young children. does my four year old really understand that a man isn't really dead in real life because he's full of holes on a morgue table? children have no way of appropriately understanding certain things and placing their observations in the proper mental frame.

sometimes i just worry about where society is going. a couple of years ago you never heard cuss words on cable. i or his father don't cuss in front of him, nor does he watch/listen to music or movies with cuss words in me or his father's presence. now you get damn and an occasional ass on ABC, of all channels. and it's not as if the frequent bleeps help, in about 2 years i guess he'll be able to read between the lines of what's being said anyway. and it's funny that there are probably people reading this like who gives a shit people can say and watch what they want if you don't like it then tough but the truth is you can't always say/do what the hell you want when you are responsible for the life of a child. life is far more complex than that.

ok i think i'm through with my rant now. till next time...

after a month of living here in my apartment jordan and i walked down to the pool today. of course he refused to get into the water or submerge himself in any way in the water, but we still had righteous fun:

summertime.

i'm officially addicted to plurk now. twitter (although i do still update) is just way too slow and every 5 minutes when you refresh you see that goddam this-site-is-down whale pic. i like plurk, plurk is different. if weblogs are for blogging, plurk is reporting the minutae of your life, "microblogging" if you will. i could always use friends there, as at least one of my windows on my PC is always open with the screen up.

add me, please?

ahhh, this song brings back memories. even though i'm not an island girl like some of my college friends were i LOVE dancehall music. it makes me feel warm and happy-like, like i want to run around naked on a beach in the caribbean and roll up a fat one:

after posting this, i just realized that i haven't smoked a blunt in nearly 7 years. WOW.

ok so i'm plurking now. add me if you want.

so i've just succumbed to another ungodly web timewaster: i just joined pownce.

i like twitter, so i might as well give this one a shot too since i can update both at the same time with the click of a button over at hellotxt.

anyone else on pownce?? feel free to add me as a friend: pownce.com/kellybelle.